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spunkrock119
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Name: Amber
Birthday: 11/9/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: "A poster child for the liberal arts education." But if that doesn't cover it, I love to read, write and explore my various interests. I like traveling, but I've been made fun of for puking upon landing and other fun sick stories on the road. I love Jesus but, as most of us, I have a funny way of showing it. One of my biggest concerns is discovering why God put me here. We'll soon find out, eh?
Expertise: Looking up. Being indecisive. Cuddling. Kareoke. Xanga-ing. Sleeping. Milligan Library (particularly the DVDs). Hokey pokey. Rooting for the underdog. Harry Potter. Ungluing Pete from the computer (haha). Cynical commentary. Enjoying "controversy". Random pop culture trivia. The Whose Line is it Anyway point system. Finally, being little and consequently "cute", but that deals with looking up.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
9/11/2004
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| I haven't written on here in a long time; my last post was protected, and actually I think I may publicly post it now. It's more of a rant than anything, there is language, but it would explain why I haven't bothered with the blogging in a while.
I've had a long year of ups and downs. I made it through my graduate program. My stepdad passed away. I managed to finish Americorps/volunteering, and getting employment that did not involve retail.
I have found this blog to be cleansing. I have written my thoughts and "what's happening" in my world throughout my college experience. Now that my college experience is, for now, over, I feel that it's time for me to say goodbye. I haven't written anything in a while, so I may as well make it official. I'm doing the facebook thing, which makes my life story shorter and easier to follow. I'm also working on my book blog. It's nice to have a blog dedicated to something outside of me. I don't know if I'll come back to this, and right now, I don't think I will. But I know that if I need a place on the internet to come up with crazy theories or vent, I'll know where to go.
From Corrine Bailey Rae:
"The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same.
Don't you think it's strange?
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song.
You go ahead, let your hair down.
Sapphires and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams.
Just go ahead let your hair down.
You're going to find yourself some way, some how."
Ya know? I think I succeeded in doing just that. 
Hope life treats you well,
xoxo,
Mo | | |
| Hi. I'm not sure how this entry is going to come out. I don't know if it'll be happy, sad, angry, or a combination. Let's just say, I had another facebook request from an ex-stepfamily member. Big fat no on that one. But I'll get into that.
My stepfather, the father I've had raising me since I was in middle school, passed away suddenly two weeks ago. Feels like yesterday. There was nothing anyone could do; he had a heart attack when no one was home. He was outside, where he was doing what he loved -- fixing up the garden. I had a lot of good neighbors step in to try to help him, but it was too late. My entire family found out in really crappy ways. I got a phone call (6 hours away) saying my mom needed to be home immediately b/c paramedics were there, could I get in touch with her? I got the honor of calling mom to say the neighbor called & Papa collapsed. I then called the neighbor back and she told me what happened. So I knew before Mom. Mom and my younger sister found out almost together-- they happened to be right behind each other on the way home. My older sister found out when my younger sister called her in hysterics. My niece found out when my older sister blurted it out on the phone thinking her husband picked up. Let's just say, IT ALL AROUND SUCKED, but it could have been much worse.
I don't know many men who would have chosen to be the dad to three girls after being a bachelor for 40 some years. Especially when one was as bratty of a teenager as I was. But he did, and he did a great job. He was a grampa within months of accepting the dad role. He did an awesome job of that, too. He never replaced my real dad, and never wanted to. It's only now that he's gone I'm calling him my dad. It's much less complicated than being all "stepdad" whatever, and seriously, I would have picked him as a dad. As I quoted from Dumbledore when the incident happened, "You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us... Your father is alive in you." I don't have his DNA, to be certain. But I have his jokes, and I have his outlook on life. He was my hero, my biggest influence (I even said this in one of those ice-breaker things in a class).
So, I love my biological dad, and he's been a great dad, but he's pitted me against people, which wasn't fair, and he caused a lot of heartache. Papa never did that. He knew I'd figure it out sooner or later, and wasn't petty enough to worry with people who did that. I guess my dad is trying harder now, but I don't want to mess with it.
I've mentioned before in another protected post that I don't have fond memories of my stepmom and her family. Look, nothing against her, really. Well, no, wait. I feel sorry for her to a point. She took on the stepmom role, and I get that it sucks. But she REALLY tried hard to pit me against my mom. It worked for a while. Then when it stopped working, I got cussed out (I cussed right back, don't worry) but it was in front of my sister, like she had anything to do with it. (Really, their parenting techniques sucked. Teach me the books of the Bible and then cuss me out.) When their marriage failed, she tried to be all "I still want to see the kids." "Fine, but I'm a junior in high school, and I can't necessarily be at your beck and call." She literally walked out on me when I couldn't have tacos at her place because I was in a play that same night. She walked out on me when I told her I was spending mother's day with my MOM, (which was why I saw her the day before mother's day). Other than that, I guess she was all right, but those are the last memories I have of her, which, of course, last the longest. My stepbrother's graduation was the last time I "saw" her, but we didn't talk to each other.
So listen here, random person of my past, aka stepmom's BFF. I don't care that you just figured out facebook. I care that I haven't seen or heard from you in 10 years. I'm not in any sort of reconciling mood, with my stepmom or with those who I only know because of her, and I have every right to feel that way. Call me a bitch if you want, because I know you will. Maybe I'm a little bit pettier than my Papa would have liked, but he also taught me not to be stupid. Opening my life to you et al. would be stupid. The stuff that happened before wasn't my fault; I WAS A KID. I'm not saying I was perfect, but I was a kid, a bratty one, one that you used to your advantage when you wanted. Maybe this befriending thing is to say, "Let's get over the past and have a new beginning." Screw it. My new beginning is not having to worry with you people... no matter how petty and selfish that is.
And why the hell do I feel like I have to defend befriending, unfriending, or ignoring people? | | |
| I had a job interview today that went REALLY well. There's tons of applicants, so no idea if I have the job or anything, and the principal said she thought she was done until she looked again at the applications and saw my Praxis score.
In case you didn't hear, it was OFF THE CHARTS. Well, not off it. The Middle Grades Language Arts I got a 199... out of 200.
I took four Praxii? Middle Grades Content (included math, science, social studies, language arts), Reading Across the Curriculum, Middle Grades LA, and Principles of Learning and Teaching. I passed them all a little above average score, but my LA was crazy good.
Most of my classmates were genuinely excited for me. I was overjoyed. Until I got the third degree about the score on my LA. Ironically, I've only gotten harassed about my score by two people who are extremely anal and competitive. One was like, "Which TEST NUMBER did you take? I TOOK THAT, but it doesn't sound like the same test! I was WAY below passing, it sounds like you had it easy!" No, kinda sounds like I'm smarter than you. (smacks hand, that was snooty!) This one also said she couldn't remember all the stuff she learned in college, she graduated in '06! Um... yeah, me too. She also indicated that it was stupid for me to take the extra test because I wouldn't need it (then a week or so later said it was "kinda" smart). So, I may not live in Tennessee my whole life-- in fact, this girl was moving to Ohio. I figure it's better to take my chances w/ another test than not take it and need it.
The one today was like, "I don't remember the Praxis being scored like that!" Then I realized he thought I was talking about Content Area. I corrected this thinking, and he goes, "I DIDN'T KNOW there were other tests! But you're HQ if you do the Content,"etc. same as "why take another test, dummy?" Ok, yeah, look at the friggin' website, and quit bothering me, it's not like we're even competing for the same job.
I hate that my once-a-month xanga entry is so negative, because I had an awesome day. I had children's lit, I had an awesome interview, I ate at Barbaritos and the workers were super kind today (sometimes they ignore me, but there were guys behind the counter that did a lot for a smile and a thanks!), I got to go to Hallmark and get birthday cards (that's always fun....) All of my classmates were really happy that the interview went well (except the one mentioned above). I was called TALENTED by my prof! We also read Mo Willems (he's really cool!) in class today! I think I was just so flabbergasted by one or two idiots that I lost sight of that and felt the need to rant.
Check out my reading blog, http://classbookworm.wordpress.com It's my summer project and I'm having a lot of fun with it.
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| So, it's the end of May. I have (most likely) survived my internship. (I have 4 more days to go, officially, so I guess there's a chance I may not survive. Unlikely. But a chance.) It's nice to say I've had a year of teaching under my belt. I don't have it all together. But I feel pretty good about teaching overall. Right now it's a flourish of applications and getting recommendations in and all that. That will be what most of this week will involve.
I went on an Americorps trip to Nashville this month. We helped clean up after the floods that they had in the beginning of May. It was a good experience. I served with a lot of great people, helping a lot of great people.
Latest reads worth telling people about: Aurora Teagarden series. They weren't recently published, but recently discovered by me when Natalie told me she was reading a book that reminded her of me. Really, the protagonist = Amber. 4'11". Glasses. Librarian. A-mazing. I have two more books to go in the series. I may call Mr. K's to see if they have them, cuz the library didn't when I picked up the one I requested yesterday. (Sidenote: I am pretty picky about "real series," i.e. 10 or less, related to each other. If I have one, I would like them all. I even refused to read The DaVinci Code before I read Angels and Demons--not because they're really related other than characters, but the first chapter had one of those recaps about the last book. ANYWAY-- I kind of don't get how the library had all but one in this series. If it were the newest one, I'd understand if they didn't have it. Nope. The sixth out of eight.) So, yeah. Pick up Real Murders. It's an awesome book.
Also, if you're into intricate mysteries with a little bit of fantasy, I'd also recommend The Historian. It's about the search for the real Dracula (who according to the book is still alive). AWESOME. Read it during TCAP. Best $2 I've ever spent. (well... you know what I mean.)
I'm not sure how long I'll keep the blog up. It's already becoming less of something I do. We'll see. Til then, much love.
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| (sheepishly) Hi, folks. Does anyone still read this?
This Easter was the first we stayed in town. It's been marvelous. I love going "home" for Easter, don't get me wrong, but we weren't going to have the time to travel this year. Grandview had an excellent service. I got to see my kids gussied up for Easter. I heard "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" -- WITH TRUMPETS. And the entire Hallelujah chorus, which is pretty awesome as well. And I made our own Easter basket. No surprises, but no need to trade with sisters to get candy I like, amirite? Just me and Pete fighting over the Cadbury. Also, we dyed eggs last night. Those of you who know me wouldn't be surprised, but Pete suggested it. So, that was pretty awesome if I do say so myself.
Fifth grade is still treating me well enough. I got a poem written for me from a fifth grader. It was pretty exciting.
All right, I'm not sure when I'll be back but maybe when something interesting happens! 
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